Part-Timing it!

So the Artist finally got the job that he's been applying for, for the past year! Yeah! It is all very cool and almost everything we wanted it to be. Right now he is working the evening/night shift and we are hoping he can transfer to a morning shift in the next year. He's pretty bummed he doesn't get to put the girls to bed anymore, and make us dinner (as am I :)).

I am most excited because I cut my hours at work from 36 hours a week to 18 hours a week. I am currently in my 2nd week of part-time career, full-time Motherhood and it has been and still is a big change for me. The past four years have been a tornado, a roller coaster of no sleep, mommy guilt, and a depression of sorts from feeling guilty by never living up to what I think I should be. This is all totally wrong, of course. I know I am a good mother and I know I do my best, but it still have had many moments of feeling guilty for no reason at all. Now I am facing another personal growth spurt. I have so many unfinished projects, so many daily duties, so much to just do I don't know how to balance it all. Before last week I kind of just set things aside and blamed not finishing things because I was tired, I did work full-time and was tired. Now I'm not so tired, but can't get into a groove. I'm hoping it will just magically happen, but have my doubts. I guess I am admitting that I am overwhelmed with trying to recover and finish things that have been set aside for the past four years... I don't know where to start and there is no finish line in sight.

I am, however, feeling very blessed. Change is always hard, but I really feel this change is going to go in a really positive direction. I get to be home and enjoy everything that the Artist and I have worked so hard for. Our girls are growing and I am cherishing every cute and amazing thing that they do and say.